The fact that there exists business models that revolve around fixing invented problems women are told they have is nothing new - but this example is so ridiculous that I just had to mention it. The idea behind Invite for a Bite is that women who don't want to eat alone in restaurants can use the site find dining companions. Although, you know, as Jezebel points out, there's nothing intrinsically wrong with this. Facilitating networking between women? Sure. So maybe my issue is more with the way this is being covered rather than the site itself. Apparently women should feel so self-conscious and ashamed at the very idea of asking for a table for one that eating with a complete stranger should be preferable. WHAT?.
I try not to eat out much, because it's expensive, but I do eat alone in restaurants fairly regularly, and . . . I just don't get the issue here. You just walk in, ask for a table, enjoy your meal, and, if you're like me and always multitask, do some work or read a book or whatever. I've never gotten comments or weird looks. (And I'd say on average I've gotten more attentive service while alone, for what it's worth.) Okay, maybe sometimes I was too engrossed in my book to notice looks if they existed, but - what of it? Don't we assume that strangers are judging us, while we're in turn texting our friends about that crazy outfit someone's wearing or a really dramatic conversation happening at the next table? I don't know about you, but I certainly don't have the time or energy to actually care whether people have noticed or care that I'm eating alone - especially because I don't believe that it's in any way something to be ashamed of. I honestly don't even get why it would be. Do people expect women to feel worthless if their existence isn't being validated by another person at every moment? Because that's really sad.
So I guess I'm partially encouraging people to ignore this nonsense and enjoy your meal already, but I'm also wondering if this is a real problem that real people have. Anyone? Are you too ashamed to go to a restaurant alone?
Its weird, going out to eat alone does sometimes make me feel like a loser, like I feel like people see me and think I have no friends. However, I don't feel like this is because I'm a woman. I generally assume that a man would be judged the same way.
ReplyDeleteI have a go-to coffee shop/diner that I eat at when I'm dining alone, where I feel comfortable. I'm hardly ever the only lone customer there, and that makes it easier. Maybe I should make it a mission to push myself out of my comfort zone and eat alone at other places.
As great as friends/companions can be, I actually love to eat or go to movies alone. I find that I feel more centered when I get time by myself, because I am alone with my thoughts. Maybe it's egotistical, but company does not exactly equal a better dining experience. Ever been at at a restaurant with someone who gives the waitress silly demands and then leaves a lousy tip? Just like you can go to a movie with a friend you adore, only to find they have to comment on every single scene. Solitude is my friend sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI'm at a point in my life where dining alone sounds fantastic, if only to get a little quiet me-time, with or without a book.
ReplyDeleteThe other night we were at dinner and the table across from us had three people at it. Completely silent. All playing on their individual iPhones. The entire meal. I'd frankly rather eat alone than sit at a table with someone like that.
ReplyDeleteI eat alone often, usually with my phone/book/work. I get some odd looks, but never any comments, and the servers are always helpful and polite. This time last year, I think I'd have been too anxious to eat alone, but it really isn't that scary.
ReplyDeleteWhat? I eat out alone probably more than I eat out with someone. Who cares? And if they do care why should I? It continues to amaze me how much effort goes into making women feel badly about doing anything for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI'm eating alone right now and feel the same way. I'm away for work and have had dinner alone several nights in a row. I didn't think anything of it until someone today asked if it was weird for me. So I decided to google it and here I am! :)
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